Posted on February 19, 2025

Grief is something we are taught to avoid. We push it aside, rush through it, or try to distract ourselves from its weight. But what if grief was not something to escape? What if, instead, it was a sanctuary—an intimate, transformative space where presence, creation, and connection could take root?

For decades, I have worked at the intersection of harm reduction, hospice care, and theater. Each of these fields, though seemingly different, has revealed the same truth: bearing witness—whether to a person's final days, to someone struggling with addiction, or to an actor stepping into a role—has the power to transform both the witness and the witnessed. In grief, we do not have to fix. We do not have to erase. We only have to be present.

Grief as Creation

When my daughter died, I could have let grief consume me. Instead, I turned to art, to theater, to the act of creation. Grief is not just an end—it is a beginning. It demands that we tell stories, that we make something from what we have lost.

I see this in my own work, in the actors I have guided, in the paintings I have created—each an attempt to give shape to something that feels formless. In doing so, grief becomes less of a wound and more of a doorway.

Grief as Connection

In harm reduction, we do not ask people to be perfect before offering them care. We meet them where they are. The same is true for grief. We do not need to solve someone’s sorrow—we only need to sit with them inside of it.

When I provide hospice care, I have no magic words that can change the inevitable. But I can offer presence. A hand to hold. A space free from judgment. And in that, I have seen healing that goes beyond the physical.

Theater as Sanctuary

Theater is a form of witnessing. It allows us to step fully into a story—not to escape reality, but to understand it more deeply. I have worked with actors who carried their own grief onto the stage, and in speaking another’s truth, they found their own voices.

Theater, like grief, asks us to surrender. To feel everything fully. And in that surrender, we do not disappear—we come alive.

What If We Stopped Running?

What if we stopped running from grief? What if, instead of treating it as something to be endured, we embraced it as a place of transformation? Imagine a world where we allowed grief to guide us toward deeper love, greater creativity, and a profound presence with one another.

What would change in your life if you let grief be your teacher, instead of your enemy?

This is what I explore in my upcoming TEDx Talk. It is the work I have dedicated my life to. And it is a conversation I hope to continue—with you.

How have you experienced grief as something other than loss? I invite you to share your thoughts, your stories, and your reflections in the comments. Let’s bear witness to each other, together.